The caller wrote: “Most people, including Stefan, advocate committed relationships. However, I feel that voluntarism says that the best relationships are when both parties are allowed to behave and go as they wish to. How do we reconcile the idea of using social pressure and legality to force people to stay together through marriage with the basic principles of voluntarism?
Furthermore, if the morality and justification of the practice of marriage is all about children, then why are there so many rules applied to the parents and not to the treatment of children? Wouldn't we be better off advocating a new form of contract that focused exclusively on raising children correctly? Or advocating no contracts at all between free and trustworthy people!?
Marriage seems to miss the point by focusing on the two people staying together sexually and financially instead of on properly raising children. It seems immoral and counterproductive that we would advocate the complete sacrifice of parent's long term happiness for children.
I am extremely interested in polyamory, but I am worried I am wasting time in my goals of having a family. How do I reconcile my instincts regarding marriage and monogamy with the apparent ideals set forth by Stefan?
When I think of following Stefan's advice regarding dating, I see a long if not permanent period of celibacy in my future. Does Stefan advise celibacy in the dating process? Did he follow that? Isn't sex extremely important for someone to be productive and happy?”
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