Gavin McInnes


Published on Mar 14, 2019

Wanker is an insult for a reason. It's a self indulgent chimp who can't stop indulging himself. Do you hump pillows too? If your life includes staring at people who have sex on a computer or pining for a computer girl you'll never get, you oughta try #NoWanks.

There is only one rule: You can only ejaculate within one yard of a woman and it has to be with her consent. (This doesn't apply to gays or women. One's libido is beyond repair and the other is in no risk of getting out of hand.) The best case scenario is it means you have sex more because it's your only outlet. The concept was invented to improve marriages and to get single, millennial men off the couch. If your wife is pregnant and not in the mood, you may pleasure yourself but she has to be a part of it somehow. Maybe just dirty talk and light touching. It's not considered wanking if it improves the intimacy of the relationship. (There is one exception: You may go back to your old ways ONCE every thirty days.)

Many military men have asked if there's an exception for Skype sex with their wives while overseas but the answer is no.